THE PROPOSITION (2006)

Guy Pearce; Ray Winstone; John Hurt; Emily Watson

Wow, did this miss the mark. Started out with promise.
Failed to deliver. Sorry I watched it.

Rating: 1 gun (not blazing) (scale: 0-5 blazing guns)

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009)

Brad Pitt; Melanie Laurent; Chritoph Waltz; Eli Roth; Diane Kruger

Amazing film, very well done story, acting, and
the massacres were Tarantino's finest

Rating: 4 Dead Nazi's

THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY (1966)

Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, Eli Wallach

Fun old Spaghetti Western that defined the genre


Rating: 3 Smoking Revolvers (Scale 0-5)

STILL WAITING (2009)

Justin Long; Adam Corolla; Luis Guzman; Andy Milonakis; Vanessa Lengies

Surprisingly decent sequel to WAITING. Not as good as the first but funny
throughout and some decent performances and cameos.

Rating: 3 Ta-Ta's (Scale 0-5 Ta-Ta's)

STARGATE CONTINUUM (2008)

Ben Browder; Amanda Tapping; Beau Bridges; Wm. Devane

I wanted to like this movie; cheesy; B-movie: off off Indie;
maybe they shot the movie in a day the director was ill;
altho peeps die no one ever seems to get hurt; it did get
better over the movie but I wasn't sad it was over

"Walking through wormholes just seems wrong"
"Get rid of the last bad guy & then there's cake"
"Have you ever tried to find a bathroom in a pyramid"
"May your reign last days and your death years"

Rating: 1 1/2 wormyholes (Scale: 0-5) (IMDB rating: 7.4 of 10)

CORALINE (2009)

Voices: Dakota Fanning; Teri Hatcher

Cartoon; basically the story of Pinocchio; fanciful;
charming in parts; cute; too long; music detracts

Rating: 2 Buttons-for-Eyes (Scale 0-5 Buttons)
IMDB Rating: 8 of 10

KISS ME GOODBYE (1982)

Sally Field; James Caan; Jeff Bridges

Screwball comedy; fluff; fun

"As your mother I feel it is my job to point out all the negatives
of the situation"
"I was wrong, I have not come across everything"
"No, little boy, we mustn't sit on the chair, know why? Because it's
a priceless irreplaceable piece of fine art from another Millenium
and you a not quite formed piece of temporary plasmic rubbish
taking up space on this already overcrowded planet"
"It's amazing how death can change a man"
"You slept with every man you had a meal with? Certainly not
breakfasts and lunches?"

Rating: 2 1/2 ghostly incarnations (scale 0-5)

ROCKET SCIENCE (2007)

Nicholas D'Agosto; Ann Kendrick

Wacky fun; hero drifts through; off beat;
sexuality; Music is good

"Someday you'll find love and everything will be different"
"This is the girl's room"
"Go back to where you were before ou tried to exceed your
limitations"
"The suburbs suck the marrow out of you"
"The fights you fight today and the fights you fight until you die"
"You reach a certain age and you are in Jersey or someplace
just like it and you stop trying to figure it all out...you're just
glad for what you have"

Rating: 4 Renditions of Battle Hymn of the Republic
(which really should be our national anthem)
Scale: 0-5

RACE TO WiTCH MOUNTAIN (2009)

Dwayne Johnson; AnnaSophia Robb; Alexander Ludwig; Carla Gugino

cheesy cute; at one point stuff just starts blowing up; music adds;
awkward parts (not in the good way); suspension of belief is required
ending was bad

"They aren't children, they aren't even humans" (so kill em?)
"You're not always the one to blame"
"Life comes at you fast"
"Don't go in the pimped out fridge, Jack"
"You are whaat you think you are" the Buddha
"Hey, easy on the human-bashing"
"Trust no one, wahtever trouble you're in"
"Who lays low in Vegas?"
"It's pure science, chaos theory, underlying order in apparently
random data...a predetermined order of how things work in
the universe"

Rating: 2 flying saucers (scale 0-5)

OUTSOURCED (2006)

Josh Hamilton; Asif Basra; Ayesha Dharker; Matt Smith

So it's like a remake of Gung Ho (1986) with M. Keaton;
Predictable,; cute; some charming parts, got better over the movie
Lame artifice ~ make you feel its dangerous turns out its Mardi Gras
but it was ok

"For me instant gratification isn't quick enough"
"Listen, I was resisting India, once I gave in it was much better"
"That's whats strange about Americans, you don't live with your
parents, then you see them every week? You hate your boss and
you don't like this company"
"Americans have more choices that anywhere in the world"
"You ironed my underwear. Of course, doesn't your mother?"
Story of Kali ~ basically a big penis threatened to destroy all and
a woman came forth absorbed al the power and saved the world
"It's the (third eye) eye with which you see the important things"

Rating: 2 1/2 Third Eyes (Scale 0-5)

NUMB (2007)

Matthew Perry; KevinPollack; Mary Steenbergen; Lynn Collins

Good script, well-made, more of a drama than expected but well done

"I felt overwhelmed by the uncertainty of what I had"
"From that pint on I would suffer from a symptom so frightening
it would consume every minute of every hour of every day. The
official term was "depersonalization."
"The sense that the external world was unreal or strange...hellish dream state"
"I don't feel comfortable in my own skin"
"I'm going to really need you to put down that fork"
"You do realize we haven't had sex, yet?"
"What do you look for in a relationship? Just someone who can stand
to be with me, I guess"
"I'd become a cognitive whore"
"Is it this, prune juice and then death?"
"I miss Sara, I don't think I can be a writer anymore and I am completely alone"
"I was my problem"
"I'm going to love you for the rest of your life so things'd be a lot better for
me if you were going to be around"

Rating: 7 Psychobabblings (scale 0-10 babbles)

BIG MAN JAPAN (2007)

Hitoshi Matsumoto

And now for something completely different; wacky;
farcial; cartoonish; absurd; passive; awkward story
of a aging subpar superhero who is unpopular and
stuggling; funny at times

"It only gets big when you need it to, I like that"
"I want to see a real fight"
"He causes more harm than good"
"The rituals are really necessary. Why are they observed?"
Running away, "Apparently it's not Japanese"
"What is Justice" "Oh, thats a hard one"
"White lovers chocolate"

Rating: 1 Fat Giant Super Un-Hero (Scale 1-5)

WATERBOURNE (2005)

Jon Gries

The subplots weave like the movie "Crash;"
in this post-modern world with terrorists poisoning water
supplies; the movie started strong and had some interesting
aspects but overall ended up disappointing

"They say you never appreciate something until its gone"
"People are animals with comforts"
"Everything important to us became petty and useless"
"There's a direct relationship between fear and consumption"
"If I want your opinion soldier, I'll give it to you"
"All eyes are closed, no one is asleep"
"Life's more interesting when you're not afraid to die"
"Your consciousness shall become immaculate and pure"
"I thought the people close to me would always be there"
"I thought the water would always flow"
"Sometimes you need a splash of cold water on your face"

Rating: 2 bottles of contaminated water (scale: 0-5)

THE BURROWERS (2008)

Clancy Brown; William Mapother; Sean Patrick Thomas

A Wild West Cavalry Horror flick; good story/feel/flow
a well-crafted, unusual movie with interesting characters

"She's a skinny one, might as well poke the boy"
"That's not a very godly sentiment"
"I'd rather walk in the wrong direction than ride with
my head up my ass"
"No one hires the Irish, because we're a bunch of thieves and beggers"
"Apologize to the man for undermining his authority"
"I apologize for undermining your authority"
"We need to face the enemy before us"
"There's something scratching inside her"
"They eat the soft parts"
"I like my soft parts"

Rating: 3 1/2 previously buried but still alive internal organs (scale 1-5)

THE GURU (2003)

Jimi MIstry; Marisa Tomei; Heather Graham

Engaging; funny; joyous; good dialogue; silly fun

"If they have the $$ they care about sex, if they have sex
they care about $$, if they have the sex and the $$, they
feel guilty and raise $$ for the Opera"
"I swear she was 16"
"We have jack shit...or we don't have jackshit...I dont know
which one it is"
"My whole body is about to think"
"Deepok Chopra has a philosophy and shit. You can't just put
on a turban and screw chicks"
"When we release we let go of our fears, when we let go of our
fears we touch our soul"
"I really want to help mankind"
"Name one Indian star in America" "That Indian guy on the Simpsons"
"How come he didnt have any tools?" "He's a holistic plumber"
"I think she sounded naked"
"Life brings us new dreams"

Rating: 4 well-wrapped Turbans (Scale: 0-5 Turbans)

FAST AND FURIOUS (2009)

Vin Diesel; Paul Walker; Michelle Rodriguez; Jordana Brewster

Couldn't think of another name? Well, the movie doesn't work
much better, it's pretty horrible, couple pretty women, some
cool cars, car races (scenes could've been done better) and
it ended ok. Music was decent. Kinda poor man's Gone in 60 Sec.

"Maybe your the bad guy pretending to be the good guy"
"What do you look for in a woman?" "It starts with the eyes,
gotta have eyes that see through the bullshit to see the good
in someone"
"Nothing really matters unless you have a code"
"You still put milk and cookies out for Santa Claus?"

Rating: 1 '70 Plymouth with illegal mods (Scale: 0-5)